a daily goal

It has never been my aim to intentionally dislike my status in life.  I tend to be optimistic in most situations, and can offer hope and encouragement to those in unfortunate circumstances with ease.  However, within the past ten years I have found myself caught in a pattern of discontentment.  I am Type A (almost through and through).  I can be impatient, over-ambitious and incapable of relaxation most of the time.  I'm told I look relaxed when I sleep and that is probably it. ha!  

I am joyful and hopeful for the future, but a lot of times I get stuck in the present.  I think about things I could be doing or I spend time stressing over why I am not yet in a career that I love and enjoy participating in every week Monday through Friday.  I know that a lot of this is just the "twenty-somethings" curse, where we spend most of our time floundering around the world trying to find our place in it.  However...I have rushed through most phases of my life so far.  I do not possess the power to actually speed up time, but I do tend to mentally and emotionally rush through things.  I did this with high school (graduated early just to get done) and college (again...graduated early to get done and save money) and I feel as if I am going to do it again.  I don't take the time to savor the moments I am presently experiencing and I look back and regret it.  I do this every time.  

It is my greatest desire to find contentment where I am.  I intend for this to be a place where I keep myself in check by allowing others into my struggle.  I'm sure I'm not alone in it.  I believe that God has given me desires and passions that He wants fulfilled in my life...but my problem is I want them in my control and timing.  I struggle with this daily and I feel vulnerable when I talk about it.  I'm hoping that writing these thoughts down, along with resting in the Lord, will help me to come to a place where I am no longer in tension with time's passing.