when it's not fair

So, I have a lot of friends traveling at the moment.  Which translates into me being uber jealous all the time.  Why do I sit behind a desk all day, every day and only wish I was out there with them?  Why do I have to be responsible and pay my bills and focus on getting out of debt?  Why can't I just take off for months at a time and go travel the world?  It sucks being an adult sometimes.  I know there are many perks to being older and wiser, but really...being a grown up is not so much fun.  

I don't want to give the impression that I am always down in the dumps about my current status in life.  That is not it at all.  I just want what I cannot have right now...and that is what I struggle with.  I want to love every moment of every day and savor it.  Unfortunately I sit behind a desk Monday-Friday, 8:00-5:00 doing mindless, unimportant work!  I want what I do to matter to me!  Not to the dollar.  Not to Corporate America!  I love even having a job.  Please do not misunderstand.  I am blessed.  I am actually overflowing with blessings in my life.  Why can't that be enough?  Why do I always want more?  Why do I want that chick's job on the Discovery Channel who reviews hotels and the like for a television show??  (Seriously, how do I go about doing that?)

I am sitting on the couch at my sister-in-law's house.  I should be sleeping.  I should be relaxing.  Instead I am sitting here daydreaming about life and about what I could do to get out of the daily grind.  Will I ever be satisfied?  

I am about to marry my best friend.  I am about to become someone's wife.  I think that's pretty stinkin' cool.  Not to mention he is the best thing in my life and I am bouncing off the walls with happiness!  I wish that could be enough.  It should be.  I want to be okay with that.

I better get some rest.  I have a little nephew to hold ALL day tomorrow!