I digress. All that to say, I hope that my attitude is better this week and that I feel a sense of accomplishment somehow. I hope that work is busy, busy, busy this week and that I won't agonize over every second's SLOW passing while at work. Ugh.
Sunday, May 31, 2009
[not] learning to relax
I tend to go through periods of time when I would love nothing more than to sleep ALL day long and avoid being social. I had something of that going on this weekend. I absolutely hate being bored at work all week long. I talk about it all the time and about how much I abhor being bored. Here is the dilemma: I then beat myself up for wanting to relax and not do a whole lot on the weekends when I actually have time to do whatever I want to. Now, granted...that doesn't always happen. The weekend before last I was in Springfield, OH visiting my family...so technically I did something. This weekend though...I did a whole lot of nothing much. I mean, I got out and did a few things, but my attitude wasn't stellar and I could have just curled up in a ball on my bed and been completely content. I wasn't though. I felt like I was wasting every moment and that I should be out doing something, but I did not want to at all. I had no motivation to call people to hang out with, nor did I want to do anything which required me to have conversations with people. It's not to say that my entire weekend has been a waste... I got a lot of sleep and I think I needed that. My poor fiance didn't know what to do to help me, and I really don't think there was anything TO be done. I almost want to just be completely alone, but then I would be completely miserable.
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4 comments:
hmmm...the contented soul is not so content?
Nope. You would be right about that one.
one might call you..."boring hanna" :)
the main key to life, i think i've learned, is to be content in the moment. there is nothing else to life but a series of single moments, and being consumed by the moment is the big thing to focus on. so when you are content, be completely in that moment of contentness. when you are not content, i think if you can let yourself be taken over by the moment and realize it as a valuable life experience you will start to become content in that moment, and will then start to become more content in your larger life.
or maybe not. but that's helped with me. don't think about what's going to happen in the future or what's happened in the past, focus on the vibrancy and life in the moment you're in right now.
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